DEAR DIARY,

Today was one of River's difficult days.

I HATE HER! I WISH I WERE AN ONLY CHILD!

It all started when Kaylee and I were filling the time by playing a perfectly innocent game of Faster, Zombie! Kill! Kill!,



and River, feeling left out, decided to drag the crew's attention back to her by stealing one of Jayne's guns and waving it around in the cargo bay.



Well, from that point on it was war.



Kaylee, bless her innocent little soul, suggested that making out in the mess hall would be a GREAT way to get an edge on River's activities.



Oh, Kaylee. Three simple words.

Anyway, while I was bitching to the rest of the crew about how she always ruins everything and is so competitive and she can never let me have anything for myself, River managed to suit herself up and space-bound up into the empty shuttle of a bounty hunter who happened to be currently in the area.

Nu-uh. Not to be outdone, I used my feminine wiles



on the bounty hunter to... well, get shot and punched.




In the stunning finale to our sibling rivalry, River had a significant moment with the Captain on the outside of the ship while I got to play doctor with Zoe and Wash, making me officially the envy of everyone on board the ship.



Hah. I think I win this round, dear sister.



That makes it Simon: 1, River: 79.